Closure
by thenameiskeri
Summary: Harvey stood up with her, all logic and thought gone, "It's all that matters. It's all that ever mattered. Losing my mother proved that. That if I don't do things now, say things now …. then I'll never get the chance to."


_Future fic. Angsty._

 _Years down the line. Donna is engaged to be married to someone. There is a strain in Donna/Harvey's relationship since her engagement. Harvey's mom got sick and battled cancer for over a year. She just passes away and then this…._

Closure

1/1

A part of Donna knew that she shouldn't have come here. But once the news had spread around the office that Harvey's mother had succumbed to her long battle with breast cancer, she quieted the part in herself that told her to let someone else handle it. She'd been handling Harvey for half of her life and now, when he might need her the most, she couldn't let the current strain in their relationship stop her from being his friend.

In her Donna way, she found out that Harvey was at a little beaten down nook at the far end of Central Park, led by a dirt path, and surrounded by massive boulders on the side. From the distance, she saw him, slumped down against the bench, head in his hands, as the spring wind whipped around him.

Bravely, Donna took steps forward, one after the other, wondering how on earth she would do this, yet knowing only one way how, "You're not cute when you pout, Specter."

Harvey never looked up, but his heart stopped in his chest and the sound of her voice. Surprised, he could only manage a whisper, "What are you doing here, Donna?"

She sat down on the bench beside him, swallowing the lump in her throat, "Where else would I be?"

Damn.

He just didn't have the strength to fight her today.

He lifted his eyes to meet hers, "You shouldn't answer a question with a question."

She only smiled back at him, "Well, I'm not a lawyer, so I don't follow those….Well, I don't really follow _any_ rules, to be honest." He briefly smiled back at him, but the grin disappeared so suddenly it broke her heart, "You okay? Silly question, I guess." He didn't respond, couldn't. Everything inside him ached. At a loss, Donna looked around at the scenery, unfamiliar, _"_ What is this place?"

He sighed, "My mom used to take me & my brother here. She loved it, but I never really knew why. It's probably one of the few good memories I have. And now….there's no more time for memories."

He brushed away a tear from his cheek and Donna's heart cracked in two.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to best to conceal her own emotions, "I'm so sorry, Harvey. I can't imagine how you feel right now."

But this moment felt too familiar.

Standing in his office, when she walked in, all those years ago, and told him that his father hadn't made it. And now, here they were. The same moment and yet everything else between them so completely different. He could feel his throat grow thick with emotion, "You were right here when it happened to my Dad too. You're always right here, huh?"

Like a stab to the heart, Donna forced her gaze to the ground before them, "Listen. I know it wasn't perfect with your mother."

He almost laughed, "Far from it."

She pressed on, "But….don't you think that you found some closure? At least at the end of it? Maybe now you can make peace with what you two did have and find a way to forgive her? Or maybe even forgive yourself?"

He couldn't deny that he'd already thought of it, "Maybe. Seeing her like that, so vulnerable, so much in pain … how could I hate her like that, you know? Crazy part is I thought I'd be relieved when it was over. But it just feels like, like the world is over."

She moved in closer to him, resting her hands in her lap, "I'll tell you a secret: it's okay to feel that way for right now. It's pretty damn normal actually. She's your mother. And her life, her choices and…her passing will always matter to you. Just because you're Harvey Specter doesn't mean that you can't feel this and hurt because of it." She grabbed his hand in hers, "Because somehow, I promise, that every day, little by little, the world will come back together again. Until then, you have a lot of people in your corner to help you and to make it better. I swear."

She was kind, reassuring and everything he had always admired about her.

But today, on the day he felt more alone than ever, he just couldn't handle it.

Tears in his eyes, he faced her, "What are you doing here, Donna?"

"Harvey."

"No, seriously. Why not send Mike or Jessica? Why are _you_ here?"

She pleaded, "You know why."

He insisted, "I have _no_ idea why."

She felt the anger rise up in the pit of her stomach, and yet she never released his hand, "Because we've seen each other through some of the worst things and best things. Because I will always be in your corner to root for you and to fight for you when you can't. Because you've been the biggest part of my life for the last 15 years and I will not let you drown in this. I refuse. Because I care about your world, and your pain. Because I _love_ you ….."

She paused, "….and I need you to be okay for me to be okay. How's that?"

But the silence between them was deafening.

She looked at him, pained, aching, "Harvey, say something."

He grabbed her hand tighter in his and realized that maybe, just maybe, there was only one thing left to say.

"Love me how?"

Stunned, Donna barely spoke, "What?"

But he never wavered, "Love me _how?"_

Like fire, she pulled her hand out of his grasp, "Don't. That's not fair. Don't do that."

But Harvey had nothing left to lose, "Why not?"

The air between them too thick, Donna had to stand and walk back a few paces to gather herself, "You know why. I'm not here for that. That part is over. It had to be. I had…" Her voice cracked and she nearly hated him, "I don't want to do this. Not now. That's not what matters."

He stood up with her, all logic and thought gone, "It's _all_ that matters. It's all that ever mattered. Losing her proved that. That if I don't do things now, say things now …. then I'll never get the chance to."

But Donna had played this dangerous game with him before, "You always do this. You say these things and tomorrow you take them away. I can't live like that anymore."

Everything inside him felt ripped to shreds, and challenging her felt like the only thing he had left, "Why? Because you have him? What? He's better at this than me?"

Her hands turned into fists at her sides, "Yeah, he is! Better at everything, in fact ! And _he_ has a name if you ever bothered to learn it!" But the screaming and yelling felt so wrong, here in this beautiful place, now at this horrible time. She tried to steady herself, exhaling deeply, "I didn't come here to fight you."

But he couldn't let it go. He couldn't let it die.

Not this too.

He shook his head at her, screams spewing from his lips, "You shouldn't have come _at all."_

She winced back, like his words were a bullet. But hurting her somehow made him feel alive again. And he couldn't stop himself.

His screams continued, as she stood there, frozen, "You don't get it. This isn't good, Donna. You here, with me, like this. You wanted boundaries and where are they right now? I don't see them. But this is what _you_ do. You come, and you go. You get to choose what parts of my life you're comfortable crossing the line for and then punish me for letting _you_ cross them. But guess what? _I_ can't live like that. It's all in or all out. And you, and that ring, and that guy….you chose all out. So, what the hell are _you_ doing here?"

Instead of breaking her, his cruelty straightened her back. She took 2 brave steps forward, nearly crashing against his chest, "I came here to help you. And all you seem to want to do right now is punish me. And because you are hurting right now, I'll forgive you for it. But please. Please don't push me away now. You're lashing out. But what you need …."

Her scent invading his senses, he lost himself as he interrupted her, "You know what I need? You know what I really need? _This_."

And as if she held the air he needed in order to breathe again, he grabbed her by the upper arms, pressed her hard against his chest and crashed his hard lips over hers. She froze in his grasp, but didn't pull away, shock and desire overcoming her. She parted her lips to object and he used to moment to deepen the kiss, suspending whatever reality they had found themselves in.

It was minutes, maybe hours.

He pulled away, knees wobbling, his gaze foggy and furious, "Well, at least _that_ hasn't changed."

His harsh tone brought her back to reality and then, instinctively, she reached her arm out, slamming her palm hard across his cheek; her engagement ring spun around on her finger scratching against his scruff. The slap echoed throughout the night air.

He brought his hand up to rub his cheek, blood dripping down, her reaction all he needed, "We done here?"

Stunned and devastated, she nodded, "Yeah. We're done."

She began to walk away, slowly, before turning back to him one final time, "I am truly sorry about your mom, Harvey. I know you loved her so incredibly much. But I also know that you don't know a **damn** thing about how to love somebody …"

And then, she was gone, almost as if she'd never really been there.

He fell back against the cement bench, the wind picking back up again.

Alone, bloody and broken, all Harvey could do was whisper, "Yeah, I love you too."


End file.
